ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
