The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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