I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize