I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
