Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize