super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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