Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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