Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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