worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
