it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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