what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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