He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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