Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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