He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
