we're blogging at a bar
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
