New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
