loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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