If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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