good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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