You just made me feel so damn special
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize