the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This baby is an asshole
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize