I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
