So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
