I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my poor anus
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
