could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
