My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
