I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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