mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
