Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
