I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
