rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
