have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
