Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
