During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
