Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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