I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
