i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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