I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
