You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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