non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
