I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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