Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's shark week go big or go home
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize