You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
