If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
