my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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