Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
