I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
