Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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