I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
