The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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