I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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