I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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