The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize