I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
