Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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