I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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