Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
