Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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