last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize