Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
