This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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