are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
