There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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